I am learning that female self acceptance, self love, and sexual pleasure really freak some people out. I will go as far as to say that women reaching for what turns them on frightens some people - and really makes others angry. And we wonder why women still struggle with self image? No matter what you see in commercials or the movies - being a sexy woman even in the Untied States can also mean a willingness to take it on the chin - and to stand up for your sexy desires. It takes a determination of spirit and guts to know that you want to live your best life - no matter what. I think that is why I love the women who are bringing Zestra to market so much, Mary Wallace Jaensch and Rachel Braun Scherl. These women have had to fight their way through a mountain of people saying "No" to let women know about a simple, topical, organic arousal gel. You see - female arousal made the marketers nervous....you mean women could actual reach for their own pleasure? What might happen if the news of that came out? You mean it is possible for women to increase their sexual pleasure? Will they still get home in time to cook dinner?
You can see why Zestra was the perfect choice to be the Shameless Book Tour Sponsor! Now - what is Zestra you might ask? In case you haven't heard, it's an all-natural female arousal enhancer that you can buy over the counter and according to this "researcher," it works.
But like you - I didn't know about Zestra for a long time - which isn't easy given that I am not shy. I will walk into any drug store, sex shop and workshop that even hints at bringing out my inner ‘sex goddess.' I will talk about it with anyone who'll listen to me about how sexual pleasure can make you a nicer person and even heal lifelong issues. As someone recently put it, I'm "the living embodiment of the power of pleasure to transform one's life."
I've become so comfortable and playful with my healthy sexual side, my son rolls his eyes at my constant double entendres. "Is everything a sex joke with you, Mom?"
Not everything. In fact, I take it very seriously. I do write about sexuality pretty much every day. I even chronicled my path to uncorking my sexual desire in my about to be published memoir, "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner" . And I hope that you are going to want to read all about my funny, crazy, sexy out of the box journey.
So how could I not know about Zestra, something this YAHOO? It's simple. It's what I started to talk about earlier in this post. It's not that I am paranoid - but folks - there's a conspiracy to keep a lid on women's sexual arousal and the truth about the ‘va-jayjay." I would use the anatomically correct "vagina" but there's ample evidence that that's a big no-no too. Let me explain.
But it could. That got me excited. Semprae Laboratories, the little pharma that I let into my panties, found the right blend of botanical oils that made me lie down and take notice. I blogged it all. Even though I never believed in drug-enhanced pleasure, I was wiling to make the Zestra exception.
I used my second packet to see if I could get that Zestra "rush" when it was just me and my vibrator. Oh yeah, baby. There were sensations that even intrepid me didn't know were possible.
Of course, being a well-mannered midlife sex goddess, I wanted to write a thank you note and post it on Zestra's FaceBook page (yes, I friended them). That's when I found out about the "controversy."
It seems that female arousal and anatomy is just too icky for major and even minor media to take perfectly good money for Zestra ads. Aren't we in a downturn? Why would anyone say no to ad revenue for something that actually puts a smile on people's faces without weight gain?
Oh, here comes that scary vagina again. We don't want that to get too excited. Who knows what might happen? In fact, CBSnews.com recently censored an article by Lissa Rankin, MD, a renowned Bay Area Ob-Gyn and author of What's Up Down There when she wrote a piece called "15 Curious Things You May Not Know About The Vagina." Apparently the 16th curious thing is that the vagina musn't have too much face time. The article was taken down within an hour.
The irony, of course, was that she was invited to write about the vagina after CBSnews.com had a blockbuster piece called "SPERM: 15 Crazy Things You Should Know." That's still up. Maybe with a little help from the little blue pill.
So what does this say to women? Not much that's useful and a lot that's confusing. We're jammed with messages that exhort us to be sexy but discourage us from being comfortable with our bodies. Heck, most of us can't even name our parts. How can we wake up to the power of pleasure when we're intentionally kept in the dark? This shouldn't have to be so hard.
So - I am taking Zestra with me on my 24 City Shameless Book Tour - Of course I am. How could I not? If the big ad networks are frightened to let you know about something that might increase your pleasure - well - I'm not. In fact if you come out to one of my readings, seminars or workshops - I will personally hand you a Zestra Sample!Or if you don't want to wait that long - jack into their website site - and you can get a SHAMELESS Discount in honor of the publication of my memoir! How is that for us women sticking together? Simply click on the Zestra Banner on my blog and put in the code featured there! You will get $5.00 bucks the 12 pack.
There is a double standard when it comes to women and pleasure. How about you join the fight to stop the double-standard in advertising? Madison Avenue has been using the vagina as a unspoken marketing tool for generations. How about they finally learn to say the name and, to quote Bob Dylan, "Get out of the road if you can't lend a hand."