The Not So Secret Pleasures of a New Sex Toy

I don’t consider myself a “Sex Blogger” even though I am sex positive and write about sex a lot! After all, I am a sex and relationship coach! But somehow,  I don’t often do “Sex Toy” reviews – or share my personal sexual experiences, except perhaps in my book Shameless! Oh yes – there are exceptions to every rule!  And rules are made to be broken - right? Like my personal addiction to the sex toy, the Hitachi Wand.  To me – and thousands of others, who use vibrators in their sex lives (alone or as a couple) – the Hitachi Wand was the most dependable toy around.

I have used others – because I know that self pleasuring (masturbating) with the same sex toy all time is not always the best way to achieve or heighten sexual pleasure. But try and try again – I never hit another vibrator that worked for me like the old wand – and I got tired of throwing good money at toys that didn’t  how shall we say – hit the spot?

And then I met Jimmyjane’s Form 2 one of the rock stars in the “Pleasure to The People” line.  Form 2 a little discreet vibrator that took the form perhaps of a small bunny face (nothing like the famous vibrator toy – the rabbit!).   It is all about the little ears or if you like-  the two amazing fingers! What does it look like to you?

The designers call it “LITTLE PERKY” (suggesting that we call Form 2 whatever we would like – I call it magnificent! I had little to no expectations for it – it was so small. How could little Form 2 bring me to orgasmic  bliss?  I could wax poetic about the delicate vibrations that reminded me of a lovers fingers which special abilities.  Or the how the double prong (ears) worked together or separately!  All I know is that I have a new friend in my bed room drawer - ight next to my  Zestra!  Put those two together – and call me in the morning!

My Mother And The Vibrator

Three years ago,  I convinced my sister to go in on a vibrator with me as a gift for my mother for her birthday. I think my mom must have been turning 78 or 79 at the time.  My mother is a very sexy lady - in fact she wears a necklace that we bought her when our kids were born that says "Sexy Grandma".

My father has been dead for over 26 years. Mom has been a widow for a very long time, since her fifties. There were boyfriends along the way -but the last one died years ago. I had spoken to my mother about masturbation and how important it would be for her to give herself this kind of pleasure, but she usually dismissed me.

And  I understand that most people don't ever want to think about their mother's masturbating - and frankly - I really understand that! But I am not most people! I wanted my mother to be able to continue to have some kind of sexual pleasure in her life - so I thought if we got her a vibrator it might open up a entire new world for her. So we bought the vibrator. It was a very  simple one. It wasn't a  pink striped , pulsing and twisting not that. I didn't want to scare her after all! We settled on an old fashioned vibrator - the one that has a little "special applicator" attachment. It looked a little like a small mixer but without the beaters! We wrapped it up pretty with a bow and when my Mother opened it - she laughed.  And then she looked at us and said "Maybe".

It lived in her closet for years. - until my mother turned  81. Every-time I brought it up. - mom would tell me that she was frightened of hurting herself. I would talk to her about this. "Come on mom - how are you going to hurt yourself?"

She could never explain to me her fears, and in the end the vibrator remained unused. And then one afternoon my mother called me. I knew something was up at "Hello".  She had this cat who had caught the canary kind of voice.... "Well, I used it!" She gushed.

"Used what?"

"The vibrator!!! I was watching this show on television today and they had this expert on the elderly, and she was taking about how important it was for good overall health for older people to continue to have sex, and how unfortunate it was that many women lose their mates...and that the elderly should be encouraged to masturbate - and this really impressed me! It is the Today Show after all - and then the expert said that we should all go and find a quiet place and I got the box down!" Okay - I tried to not be insulted that after three years or more of having this very same conversation with my mother - and even buying her a vibrator, and giving her lube (think about that a moment - I gave my mother lube!). It took this stranger who was on the Today Show to impress her! "That is SO great Mom! I am so happy!"

"Well, I opened the box. I was nervous about it, but I figured I could read the directions. And you know -the instructions don't even mention sex!  How stupid is that? A vibrator that doesn't talk about masturbation! It had all these different attachments. I finally figured out the "Special Applicator"  for "Special Places" was the one that I should use! I was a little scared - but I decided that I was just going to do this! What could happen?! I will have you know that your 81 year old mother had an orgasm in like two minutes! It was so fast! And I soaked the bed! I had forgotten what that felt like! I had forgotten the feeling. It was so good! I guess I didn't lose it from not using it!" I was stunned. She soaked the bed? " ejaculated?"

"All of this fluid shot out of me!"

I have got to tell you, that I know that mom used to do this. She has told my sister and I about this - but neither my sister or I have ever done this. But apparently my mother does not orgasm EVER without ejaculation even at 81!" "That is so cool  mom - you know neither Vicki or I ejaculate! They even have classes on how to teach women how to do this....but you do this naturally!" "You mean you don't have an orgasm?" My mother sounded confused and appalled.

"No, Mom - I have orgasms - lots of them. I just don't ejaculate. I get wet...but liquid does not shoot out of me and soak the bed the way you are describing...."  I am talking to my mother about my orgasm now. I am trying to be cool. I am not feeling cool. "Oh...I thought everyone did that" Said my mother. "Where does it come from?? Yours just stays inside you??" "I think it comes from glands near the Cervix...but I really don't know...." I had forgotten that  my youngest son, had walked into the apartment while I was chatting up the world of masturbation with my mother.  He had made a bee line for the kitchen and  I was so distracted that I hardly noticed him. Besides at 17 he was pretty independent.  So - he wasn't on my mind until I heard him shout from the kitchen.

"Mom....I am going to throw up! Really Mom...I am going to vomit!!" Oh God! I couldn't stop laughing! Poor Baby! Let's hear it for small apartments! He appears from the kitchen carrying a bowl of soup and looks at me and says  "No amount of therapy in world you amount of therapy in the world"