Boundaries

Becoming An Artist of The Erotic

This is True and Fucking Big: Nothing expands me, rips me open and leaves me more vulnerable than love, desire, and the erotic. I remain in awe of it's power to turn my life upside and make my heart beat funny. This triple treat of human emotion's relentless invitation to me to drop my shit, trust, expand, be willing, lean in and love can toss my heart and soul around like a tiny boat on a huge restless ocean.And I will be a hot mess, until I'm done. And a resting place of realization fills my body and soul. Just like this time. Love, Desire, and the Erotic ask us to constantly be willing to be seen naked and raw. It's relentless in it's challenges to us to see things through a different lens. Just try to understand the erotic. I double dare you.

It's mostly impossible to nail down. It can be beyond challenging to understand what turns me on in the way that it turns me on and what turns you on in the way that it turns you on. Sometimes, they fit together like the perfect puzzle pieces and sometimes, it's more challenging. Sometimes, what is hot for me, is less so for you. But we are dating, lovers, life partners? What then?

And there can be boundaries. And fuck can those sometimes feel "personal". Those places where you are invited and those places where you are asked not to tread. Where those welcome mats are placed and removed can shake us to the core. Boundaries can feel restrictive, but when you really look inside they can create enormous freedom. Draw a circle and then stand instead of it. Can you feel all the space to create and dance in? That's a part of the erotic. And It's the speaking and the listening that can also build the fire of intimacy and create the safety for more air to get in if we can handle the discomfort. Can you digest all of this?

Here's the lesson: Can you play in all of that and feel hot, turned on, and desired? Can you learn to expand your own erotic dance within all of that, in a way that is both a turn on to you and your partner within erotic boundaries, turn ons, and the great unknown? Can you hang in there for the erotic evolution that is all of our sexuality? It's big right? It's an edge. It might even be fucking awesome if you allow yourself to become an artist of the erotic.

Yes is the only living thing....

I hear an enormous amount of noise and encouragement around the word "No". And "No" is a great word. No can protect us and free us, and allow us to rest. But what about the word "Yes"? I want to hear more about what saying "Yes" can do for our lives. e.e. cummings says "i imagine that yes is the only living thing". I imagine that too. When I want movement, it usually involves a yes. Or excitement. Or taking on something new. Or desiring change. When someone offers me an amazing opportunity and I'm not sure how I am going to do it; I say "Yes" and figure it out later.

I understand that you still might say "No, I will never do that."or "No, that's not who I am." or "No, that's just too scary."

And I will say "watch me say yes." It's okay to say Yes. It can be safe to say "Yes". It can feel couragous, freeing, affirming and extraordinarily loving to ask those around you to say "yes" to you and your dreams and your desires.

Yes can open doors and fill our world with a sense of aliveness and sparkle. Yes is so much sexier than, "I can't" or "I shouldn't" or "It's impossible". In the space between yes and no, there can be a lifetime, an adventure, a transformation. Yes can be the gateway to learning how to receive in your life.

Yes is the difference between the path you walk and one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the legroom for the lies you will tell yourself in the future.

Consider Yes.......

Do You Ever Feel Like The Queen of More?

I have been "The Queen of More" for a great deal of my life. Sometimes, that desire for more has served me in spaces of creation. But in other times, that desire for more has brought me to my knees. I doubt that I am alone. This is what is true for me now.

I am sitting in the richness of moments. My legacy of wanting more is something that I am looking at with fresh eyes.

In truth, I find the richness in my memories are not of  the "More" that I was seeking.  They are in moments. It's the moments that keep me company. It is the moments that I allow into my body, heart and soul that I remember.

It is a kiss on a street corner. An experience with a lover at a bar, connecting eyes, a smile and a wink of recognition with a stranger on the street. It has been on retreats, on a massage table for a session, a conversation that is full between friends.

It is the bites.

So many of us get lost in making plans and tying things down in our search for groundedness. But that is not where we will find aliveness. Aliveness is in the moments. In the possibility of opening to just that.

In flying in groundlessness, in letting go of our attachment to more we may find true pleasure. If we can allow it.

Now that would be doing something different.