Arousal Principle

Attention Seattle!

A series of workshops presented by the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture Arousal, Pleasure and Exchange with Pamela Madsen

Saturday, May 10 at 12:00pm

  • 18+

Pamela Madsen is a fearless advocate for women’s health and integrated sexuality. During her 25-year career, Pamela has leveraged her raw honesty and well-informed wit to help strip the stigma from infertility, female desire and pleasure, body image and weight. The willingness to use her personal struggles to have children, discover her innate sexuality and find self-esteem has made Pamela one of the most accessible and relatable figures in the vanguard of women’s wellness.

Join Pamela for 3 workshops over 3 days.

To learn more about the workshops and buy tickets go here!


Are You "Performing" Sexy or "Being" Sexy?

I feel inspired to write this morning after reading a blog on Huffington Post entitled; "Are You Too Old to be Hot?" I'm just over the cusp of 50, and I'm sexy. The kind of sexy that flows out from my skin in this deep inside of me place that has a fire blazing out into the world that has nothing to do with "hot flashes".  My orgasms are bigger and over flowing (when I was younger I thought that I was too sensitive for more than one - or that my pleasure had a ceiling) into multiples of multiples.  I take up erotic space, which means that people tend to notice me when I walk into a room. And it doesn't scare me. I know that I am safe in my own body, because I trust my own ability to hold my own boundaries. Therefore, I can simply relax and enjoy the pleasure of sensual attention. Flirting is fun and a newly found sport that I love to play.

Younger men and older men flirt with me, and send out the vibes that they want me.  It's fun to feel this sexy and have my pheromones speak to the world. These feelings are playful and contribute to my own feelings of aliveness and happiness.

When I was 20, 30 and even 40 - I questioned my beauty and my sexiness. I compared myself to everyone instead of feeling who I was inside myself as a sexual being. I was thinner, firmer and probably more physically luscious at 20 than I am in my fifties.  Like most of us at a younger age - or even now - I never saw my own beauty and sexiness even though it is clearly reflected in the photographs of me.  I think that's because I was "performing sexy" not "being sexy.

And that is the key. Sexy is a feeling. And we can feel sexy at any age and in any body of any type. Really. You don't have to change on the outside to BE sexy. And what I have found, is that people who feel sexy ARE sexy at any age or body type.

What if you notice that you are "Performing" sexy instead of "Being" sexy. How do you quit the show and start actually becoming the hot sexy creature you want to be? It's a practice.  We need to practice feelings in order to get our body to begin to "be" on its own.  It's a big part of what I coach women on in my coaching practice. The ancient practices of connecting to our power source. So many women turn it off because they are told that those feelings are wrong - yet they are trained to put on all the performance attributes of sexy to attract mates. It's very confusing stuff.  Don't feel erotically hot, but look it so that you can attract a mate! Really? Really.

Now I am not posting this so you can say; "Well screw her. Goody for her! So glad for Pamela". Which you might....

I am posting this blog because I think we can all of this. I don't think I am special here.  Remember: Sexy is a feeling!

And if you are not feeling it - you can again. I totally believe that. I reclaimed my sexy at age 43 and I kept reclaiming it! I reclaim my sexy every damn day - and it only gets better!

Sexy is a practice.

So how do you get started?

Tips For Reconnecting to Sexy:

1. Start touching yourself. That's right - start touching your own genitals.  While self pleasuring is always good, I am not talking about active masturbation. I am talking about pussy holding and comforting. Pussy holding and connecting to your arousal. Watch this video on the "Arousal Principle".

2. Start looking at your obstacles to pleasure.

3. Learn to speak your desires!

4. Understanding "Anticipation" as a key to living a turned on life.

I hope that these videos and tips are helpful.