Arousal

Sexual Arousal Can Fuel "Creative Eroticism"

I believe that sexual arousal, passion and anticipation energy when nurtured, allowed and channeled fuels more than genital orgasm: it fuels a creative orgasm. Sexual arousal is the "Super Power" that so many of us are simply not tapping which I like to call "Creative Eroticism". Some people call "sexual arousal" erotic charge. And that's certainly not wrong. But I think it helps if we can identify that this feeling originates from our genitals and can enliven not just adult intimate interactions, but also artistic endeavors like painting, cooking, writing, acting, gardening and even creative and business partnerships.

Do I have any research to back up my claims? We can certainly look at the documentation of the very strong and active sex lives of  many geniuses, creators, leaders and entrepreneurs of the past and present.  There seem to be a very strong connection between living a life of creation and living a life filled with sexual energy.  This is also why many  people choose to work with people who they are attracted.

Lovers who work together report that they often feel more creatively alive and productive because there is an "arousal charge" that feeds their creative energy; this is "Creative Eroticism".  Almost everyone I encounter, knows someone who met their lover at work, or works with their lover.

I am not alone in my thinking either. More and more, sex educators are correlating our ability to feel sexually alive (arousal) with our ability to earn money. People in love create legendary works of creative expression in all of it's various forms.

This is what I know to be true in my own life; when I am erotically attracted to someone I have the energy and passion of ten women half my age. My brain fills with ideas that I can hardly wait to implement. I work faster, harder and happier.  And I know from the hundreds of women that I coach and attend my retreats ,that when they learn how to turn this engine on for themselves and flood their body with arousal that they are having the same results as a "Crush" or new relationship.

Sexual Energy more clearly defined as "Arousal Energy" and our "Creative Energy" are so strongly linked that they impact each other profoundly. Have you noticed that when you not moving your  sexual energy at all and feel disconnected from your body that your zest for life goes down?

There is an interesting mix of neuro-chemistry that goes when we wake up our arousal and when we learn how to harness,  channel and let it go - our inspiration rises in extraordinary ways.

Here are some ideas on how you can wake up your sexual energy to help channel it toward your own creative expression:

1.  Get back in touch with your body. It's literally your portal to creativity, abundance and pleasure. No matter what you think is "wrong" with your body it wants craves touch and love. You do not have to depend on your partner if you have one. You can touch yourself, get a massage, or work with a practitioner.

2. Build a Pleasure Plan. Having a plan of dependable pleasure in your life will build anticipation in your life. And anticipation builds arousal which leads to creativity and happiness! Our arousal loves to be stoked with anticipation and and yearning for what is to come. This is not magic, you can create this in your life!

3. If you can find somebody to "Crush" on; have at it. Crushes do not have to be fulfilled. And sometimes, they are best left as "muses". But a muse or "crush" can certainly raise our arousal levels! How many love songs have been written for unrequited love?

Accessing "Creative Eroticism" in your life is something you have complete control of . Sometimes it floods in with a new lover, or muse - but most of the time we have to bring it to ourselves.  Learning how to have bring it, channel it and access it is not rocket science. It just takes a little commitment and a desire for more.

Female Erotic Energy As a Tool of Empowerment

Women suppress the erotic, the sexual, the sensuous because we have been taught that it's through the suppression of this incredible life force energy that we will be respected and achieve in the world - yet this notion could not be farther from the truth. Few women want to be regarded as a "slut", or dismissed by seeming too "sexual" or vibrant.  We learn to hide our sexual connections, desires, and even our sex positive friends. We don't want guilt by association. It's through this learned suppression that women have learned to distrust our own bodies.

I invite you not to dismiss the erotic. For when we do, we are turning away from our own organic power source. When we buy into this belief that woman can only achieve greatness by denying our sexuality - we learn to deny it, or believe that it does not belong to us - we stop exploring it. We turn away. And we give up a wealth of information and understanding about the uses of the erotic in our lives.  We literally zap our power.  The truth is, you may be powerful and successful right now in this place of erotic suppression. You may be making six figures, and be in the lime light.

Imagine what you could be doing and feeling if you had it all: full access and understanding for the uses of erotic energy in your life.

How do we allow our precious selves to live a life without access to our own fullest potential?

What is there about this paradox of beliefs? If we are taught to keep our sexuality small in order to achieve professionally or in relationship and our true power lies in learning how to access and use the tools of the erotic for our creativity which is our life force energy - is there some kind of weird conspiracy going on? Remember women really did just get the vote!

The message to women is confused. Be small sexually to achieve. Tamp down. But erotic energy is powerful, and if women are permission-ed and taught to use their erotic energy in all aspects of their lives - are we threatening something?

It's in this confused sexual environment that women who seek to explore and reclaim their own erotic potential face. And it can take incredible amount of courage.

Even among the sexually enlightened and conscious thinkers, I wonder if there is still some fear of sexually empowered women - just under the surface. And women feel the fear and tamp down. We want to be held, loved, adored, melt.  Somehow we have gotten this idea (because most women have been carefully taught), that we need to be small to get that. We may feel like we risk a lot to be our full selves.  The fear of being dismissed or marginalized because we are not seen as "Proper" is real for many.

On some level the sexually enlightened woman is dangerous and dare I say it - "unGodly".

When women learn how to bring our erotic energy into all aspects of their lives everything can change.

The sexually empowered woman can not only feel fully, she can bring that energy into all of her life's endeavors. It's powerful. You become a force of nature. Men actually have to show up to meet you. They can no longer be small either. Not to be in your life. And not everyone is ready for that.

Understand his fear, societies fear, or you own - as you embrace, uncover, and actualize your power.

The erotic if we can embrace, understand and nurture it's energy is the pilot light within yourself. When we allow ourselves to release it, this energy can flow, color and heighten all areas of your life: whether it is cooking,  money making, painting, dancing, teaching, mothering, fucking, or examining your own ideas and life.

 

 

The Epidemic of The Angry Vagina

  This past year, I have seen what has felt like a rising epidemic of “The Angry Vagina”. And I am not talking Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues here, although I did read the “The Angry Vagina” before I wrote this blog. I actually thought for a moment that this concept of an angry vagina was new. That I had somehow discovered it in my coaching practice! Silly me. The idea of an angry vagina has been around for a long time. It's just that I hadn't noticed them before.

 

The fact is that I hadn't thought about this concept of “The Angry Vagina” until I started to meet them on a regular basis in my sexuality coaching practice. Sure, there are vagina's that are angry about yeast infections, thinning vaginal walls, latex condoms, and tampons. But I am talking about something very different; women having conversations with their vagina and their vagina communicating to them a sense of rage, anger, disappointment, and sadness.

 

A big focus of my work is supporting women in listening to their bodies by tuning into and accessing their erotic arousal.

 

I guide women on a very simple somatic (through the body) clothing on exercise where they simply cup their genitals and rock. I have dubbed this “Lotus Life Meditation”. I have done this exercise with almost every woman I have worked with this past year. As the women rock on the hands many of them can begin to feel the slow building heat of arousal. Sometimes, this is the first time that they have felt their own arousal in a very long time. And for others, it is the first time that they have felt their arousal separate from beginning some other kind of sex act. This simple act opens up a communication pathway between a vagina and it's woman.

 

In this guided meditation, we simply feel, listen, and even question our bodies using the energy flow of arousal. In this soft trance states, the women are asked to tune into their bodies and “ask” their “pussy”, “vagina) “yoni”, “vulva” “cunt” (whatever word they are comfortable with), how their “lady parts” are feeling. I often hear words like “honey”, “soft”, “happy”, “sexy”, “hot”, “tingling”, “connected”, and “alive”. But more and more I am hearing these words: “angry”, “rage”, “broken”, “sad”, “pissed off” “disconnected”, “nothing”. And then there are shocked tears. Each woman who expressed these darker emotions were shocked that these words came out of their mouths as they spoke the emotions of their angry, hurt, ignored, and disappointed vagina.

 

I witness tears rolling down faces and stunned eyes as they realize that they have not been listening to their own bodies, and that their vagina had some very real things to say to them. And so we begin a practice of having an internal dialog between a woman and her most sacred parts. Some mental health professionals call this “counseling with our parts”. Where we actively invite a body part to communicate with us. It's an incredibly healing practice, and often eye opening for the “owner” of the part. So this is what I learned about angry vaginas from their owners this year.

 

1. Vagina's want to be held and touched and not just when sex and orgasm is on the menu. They like a good cuddle.

 

2. Vagina's want their pleasure taken into account and they are tired of being rushed.

 

3. Vagina's want their “no” to be heard. Vagina's hold stories of sexual trauma for a very long time and need lots of support to heal. They don't want to be rushed.

 

4. Vagina's want attention paid to their climate whether it is ovulation, menstruation, peri-menopause, or menopause climate shifts, they want to be cared for and heard when the weather changes.

 

5. Vagina's want to be told that they are beautiful.

 

6. Vagina's will shut down and numb out if they are ignored.

 

7. If Vagina's are ignored long enough they will get furious and can begin to hurt.

 

8. Vagina's want to be asked.

 

Vagina's are resilient and they want to feel connected to their woman. Our job as women is to create the time to do just that. It's simple really. Create a space where you can be quiet. Begin to tune into your body by noticing your breath. Close your eyes and put one hand on your genitals and one hand on your heart. You can rock, or cup and move arousal energy or not. The most important thing is the connection. Try to tune into this incredible space between your legs and ask your vagina a question such as “How are you feeling?” and see what she says.

It can be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

 

Would you like support?

Please request a free consultation by emailing at Pamela@backtothebody.org

Join Pamela for a special workshop just for women all about connecting to our vaginas. This workshop is clothing on. Learn more here about the June 11th workshop in NYC.

Check out our retreats at Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women

Check out my meditation. It may be a great way for you to get started.

Consider a VIP Day with Pamela.

 

 

 

 

Attention NYC Area Women: Join me on June 11th for The Arousal Principle and Pleasure Mapping!

NYC Area Women! Join me in person, on June 11th for some inspiration, expansion, and perhaps even a little transformation! As a sexuality and intimacy coach I place an extraordinary amount of attention on arousal (not orgasm) as life force energy. "The Arousal Principal" as I like to call it, is a way of considering this energetic state which is the noticeable rise of sensual energy in the body starting in our genitals as a doorway to fuel all of your creative activities not just the full expression of your sexuality. Arousal energy can fuel your writing, art, gardening, relationships, or any other aspect of your life including your relationship with money! And like anything else, you need to spend time exploring and experimenting with this state in your own life to see it's unique potential for you.

Many people describe the feeling as heat, warming, or tingling. A great way to start is to begin to use this delicious state to fuel your meditation practice as well as considering this energetic state as a place to explore your sexual nature on your way to deepened your relationship with your own fully expressed erotic creature.

During this three hour workshop, we will explore female arousal energy in meditation practice, and then create our own "Pleasure Plan" through Pleasure and Sexuality Mapping. You will be creating a map to take home with you.

Buy tickets and get more information here!!!! I hope to see you soon.

http://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-arousal-principle-and-pleasure-mapping-tickets-11734679743

Do I Need Lipstick?

I love this Rumi most of all:  "Forget Safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be Notorious.

Not a big surprise, if you know anything about me. But it is something that I choose over and over again. I choose it when I wrote "Shameless".  And I am choosing it right now, simultaneously writing a book of erotica and a self help book at the same time.  I kept being drawn to both - "The Arousal Principle" and "The Surrender Games". And I worried that no one would take "The Arousal Principal" (the self help book), seriously if I wrote erotica (which for me is part memoir anyway!). So, I kept putting down "The Surrender Games", because I am a SERIOUS FEMALE SEX COACH! Right. And then I decided once again to follow my heart and my fingers and I am forgetting safety. Right now again, I am living where I fear to live. I am writing self help and sexy stories. I am running retreats for women that are so magnificent and out of the box, that they couldn't even imagine the box when Will, Ron and I created "Back to The Body".

Oh yeah. I might destroy my reputation. Who knows....I may be notorious already. Isn't that kind of wonderful?

I feel great. I am right where I should be.

What about you?

Can you let yourself forget safety? Can you live in that place of low vibration arousal where you have this tingle of anticipation that starts in your pelvis and rolls up through your body throughout the day?

Can you let yourself feel what it is to live where you fear most? You say you want to live with an open heart, and destroy the old patterns. You read all of us "self help" Goddesses to you are blue in the face. How many pictures with new age expressions can you "LIKE" in one day on Facebook?

Let me kick your ass. You can discover yourself anew and it will be risky. It always is. You may spend your fortune on your quest. You may break you heart a thousand times over. But you will fall in love. You might change the world.

Stop holding back.Really, I may be just like you. I have all of the fears. I have insecurity. I worry about scarcity. Sometimes I allow my ego to get in the way and have incredibly strong feelings of jealousy. Sometimes, I just worry if I'm pretty enough to get out there and rock this world.

Do I need lipstick?

You found me, this blog and perhaps my Shameless Community which is filled with people who want to create change in their lives and in some ways the world. Soak it up. Breathe in my intensity and make it yours. Dance. Sing. Write. Get Sexy. Fall in love with yourself. Hang out with your friends and love on each other with unbridled support. Laugh until your ribs hurt.Let yourself feel. You can do this.

We can do this together. Soak it in. And if you like, put on lipstick. I do.