Naomi Wolf is making a stir with her new book "Vagina: A New Biography". And I love it. She is talking about what so many of already know, and that is that a woman's heart is connected to her vagina. And that arousal and orgasm is more than pleasure in the dismissive way that our cultures talks about it. It is the power engine of a woman's body. It is the place from where women create from, and when it is frozen and numbed down - so are women. So many cultures have known this for a long time, and a tremendous amount of time and energy has gone into shaming women about their vaginas. It helps keep women small and less powerful Ms. Wolf points to neuroscience, and Sexological Body Workers can tell you that training and retraining neuro pathways in our bodies to help us reconnect with our bodies in a entirely new way. We are on to this! And so is Ms. Wolf! I love this, and the shit storm it is kicking up! I love that my voice as small as it is next to Ms. Wolf's, has another ally out in the world to sing with.
It is time to transform our understanding of sexuality for women, and we have so screwed up so many women when it comes to their own relationship with their vagina that we need more places, coaches and practitioners aligned with this information to support women to make their own connections,restore, expand and harvest the power of their pelvis.
Yes, there is a vagina-brain connection that Ms Wolf talks about. And we tend to shut it down, or ignore it. Woman are trained to do this. We need to help untrain them. Because it is only through that connection that women will really reclaim their power.
From Ms. Wolf:
"The new science has established a radically new insight: that there is such a strong brain-vagina connection in women that many of the neuroscientists whom I interviewed called it "a single system". More remarkably, few of us know that when a woman has an orgasm – and, even before that, when she feels empowered to think about pleasurable sex, anticipate it, focus on how to get it, and feels in control of and knowledgeable enough about her body to know she can probably reach orgasm during sex – her brain gets a boost of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Then, in orgasm, opioids and oxytocin are also released. This experience does not just yield pleasure, a fact that is well known; it also yields specific states of mind.
Dopamine is what I call the ultimate feminist neurotransmitter: it yields motivation and goal-orientedness, trust in one's own judgement and, most notably of all, in my mind, confidence. (Cocaine, for instance, powerfully stimulates release of dopamine – hence the crazy confidence and sociability of coke users, at least under the influence, responding to that boost). Opioids give the brain the sensation of ecstasy or transcendence; and finally, oxytocin – which can be released both when a woman's nipples are being stimulated and during the contractions of orgasm – creates a sense of bonding, caring and intimacy. Oxytocin has been shown in studies to give people with heightened levels an advantage in reading the emotions of faces.
So, given this chemical bath, it is fair to say that the vagina is not just a sex organ at all, but a powerful mediator of female confidence, creativity and the sense of the connections between things.
Realizing the nature of this brain-vagina connection led me, as a feminist, to have the next obvious insight. If female anticipation of pleasurable sex, and female orgasm, led to this kind of mood-alteration – among many other newly-documented outcomes I report on in the book – this also explains why female sexuality, and the vagina in particular, have been controlled, abused, targeted, derided and shamed. And why women have been mystified and kept in ignorance of their own sexual responses – for five millennia, certainly in the west. The dopamine loop also, of course, explains why some cultures practice cliterodectomy and infibulations – practices that we should now understand alter not simply the body and sexual functioning, but the influences on the female brain itself."
So today in the height of feminism 30% of all women report a disconnection from their sexuality and their vaginas. They are unable to reach orgasm or receive pleasure in sexual activity. The female pelvis is wired differently than the males. And is incredibly powerful.
Does this information make you feel more committed than ever to connect back to you body - and finally figure this out? I hope it inspires you to take those risks, and travel to those places that you were too scared to go. It's why Will, Ron and I created "Back To The Body: A Sensual Retreat For Women". We are going to be tackling all of this during our retreats, and we are going to help you feel what it is Ms Wolf is talking about!
Our November Retreat is full (There is a waiting list forming and you can get on it). But more importantly we will be running another one in February (dates coming soon). If you are interested in exploring this work with professional guides and a small intimate group of women - don't be discouraged that November's retreat is currently filled. Call me anyway, and let's talk. We can figure out a plan for your next move, a plan of action, and the next retreat. It will all be happening faster than you think - and there is work to be done! Your vagina is tired of waiting!
There is nothing more powerful than your vagina and your pelvis, Ladies. It's time to connect, go deep, go forth your erotic creature, unleash the power of your pelvis and create your life from a brand new place!
Send me an email at Pamela@beingshameless.com -
Loving you from here,